Vaginismus - the Yoni egg

The use of a yoni egg for vaginismus is not self-evident. I would therefore recommend that you work extra consciously, lovingly and slowly; you obviously do not want to increase the tension that is already there (for whatever reason).

Respect your body and the signals from your yoni, especially with vaginismus

Many women will use a smaller egg with vaginismus, which is a logical choice. However... Vaginismus is there for a reason, a reason for this can be a vaginal 'trauma' or vaginal 'tension' due to a past event. This event does not have to be sexually related, it could also be that the vagina is holding tension related to other stressful events. Emotional insecurity, but also a serious accident that has affected the pelvis, abdomen or lower back can result in tension in the pelvic area. In addition, there may be physiological reasons.
If you have vaginismus, I would therefore advise you to respect that and (after you have done relaxing sensual opening exercises) to spend a lot of time, love and patience on the muscles and tissue on the outside of your vagina. It is probably nice to use a lot of oil and lovingly embrace yourself in this area. Think of your buttocks, the muscle tissue around the sit bones, thighs, perineum and your vulva (the external parts of your vagina). If necessary, you can massage these muscle layers more deeply and externally and 'de-armouren'.

If you start to feel good, you will notice that the area where you can massage muscle tissue via the outside is quite large, and that a lot can be felt there.

In women who have vaginismus, the feeling of excitement does not come naturally, you may struggle with many expectations, projections, disappointments, etc. See if you can let go of that as much as possible, and be grateful be aware of what you can feel, and focus on your experience in the moment, and not on a goal you want to achieve. Even if you only stay on the outside and don't introduce anything internally, I hope that you can be grateful for the time you have spent on yourself. The opening of the vagina, and therefore often vaginismus, involves (in the TAO) the emotions Fear, Doubt and Insecurity. It is possible So it's a good thing that thoughts like: 'This isn't working for me', 'I'm not doing it right', 'This isn't going to work', etc. come up. See if you can respond to this internally with Calmness and Mildness.

I just mentioned that lack of excitement (and therefore a 'no' from the yoni) will likely be a theme for you, and going beyond this 'no' can potentially become a flywheel for 'the problem'. See if you can really take the time to relax your buttocks, pelvis and pelvic floor. Chances are that as the relaxation comes, you may also feel aroused, and feel the need to bring more attention and touch to the vulva, and ultimately the vagina. Vaginismus often creates a large mental field of tension, in which expectations, disappointments, sadness, perhaps even despair, willpower, etc. mix and build up a blockage that prevents you from really connecting with your physical and emotional world. This entire field of tension will make it difficult to relax properly. Unfortunately, relaxation and lack of expectation are really the keys to female sexuality. If you don't feel a desire to touch your vulva, see if you can be okay with that for the first time, and dare to have patience and, above all, respect for yourself, even though the process may be a lot slower than you hope. See where you do feel the desire to touch yourself, and start there, relax there (even if it is your shoulder) and see how you want to expand from there, which place wants attention.

If you do feel excitement and a desire to approach your vagina, but it is still painful, this may be due to the fact that the tissue is simply not used to touch, but it may also be due to physiological reasons. An important physiological reason is a lot of tension & tightness in the muscles around the vagina, which means that every approach gives a lot of friction and resistance. It is important to get your vagina used to penetration step by step. Pelottes are often used, which become increasingly thicker in diameter. In addition, try using latex gloves, an egg or a glass tool so that you do not irritate the tissue with your fingers (which can be rough). In some cases (especially with little vaginal activity), you will have to build it up so that the skin of your vagina becomes firmer and can withstand more. If you notice that it is not due to these reasons, I would recommend that you contact your GP to be referred to a gynecologist. Make sure that you feel comfortable with the gynecologist you end up with, and if that is not the case, request a consultation with someone else, be patient, communicate honestly and follow your intuition. If such a counselor does not recognize your desire for another person and pushes you, then he or she is a bad counselor. If no physiological problem is found, a gynecologist will probably advise you to use a dilator set. Such a set consists of a number of pads that become increasingly thicker in diameter. This allows you to gradually get your vagina used to the presence of a slightly larger size in your vulva. Make sure you can comfortably use a 20mm pad and insert it relaxed before you start using an XS egg.

These pads are often made of latex, I (and some of my customers I have had contact with) find this a very unpleasant material, because it naturally creates a kind of friction. I have had a number of pads made myself, which you can find here:

If you feel like you are ready to bring in an egg, use a small egg (S or XS), and use a string (due to the tension in the pelvic floor it can be difficult to let the egg come out naturally). It may well be that the string is palpable or even irritating to you. Also when letting the egg come out (with the help of the string), it is necessary to be truly loving with yourself, and to do this slowly, respectfully, and in coordination with your yoni. Keep breathing, and feel how the egg slowly moves out as you pull the string.
These massage spoons gently follows the curves of your body, and may be pleasant for you to use. Its pointed side is very small in diameter, making it suitable for internal work if it is difficult to insert something large into your vagina. The diameter corresponds approximately to an . It is nice to use the above massage spoon or your hands for the below. If you work with your hands, I recommend using a latex glove. (I already wrote above that this prevents friction and hypersensitivity of the probably relatively vulnerable skin of your vagina.)

Always look for a place where you feel tension, apply light pressure and feel the presence and energy from the egg, stick or your hands. As you do this, deepen your breathing and try to relax your entire body. If that doesn't work, notice where tension arises in your body and try to breathe there and let your surface carry you. See if you can become aware of the subtle sensations throughout your body. It's normal for emotions to arise, see if you can embrace them and not let them scare you. If you feel emotions, keep breathing so that you can help yourself move through the emotions and relax in them. As the tension decreases, you can tighten the pressure or look for a new place.

You may need quite a few loving sessions with yourself before you notice that you experience a step in the healing of your female sexuality. If you don't notice any progress after 10 sessions and you haven't had any valuable experiences, then I don't think this path is supportive enough for you at the moment. In addition to medical help, you could consider asking for the support of a professional in this field, for example, it may be that the first steps are too difficult for you to carry out on your own.